In memory of my beloved izzy

Somehow one must express how they feel.
People grieve in different ways.
I will write this and leave it here.
Because now the memories are for everyone even though I hold them dear.

The first time I remember i met my cousin I was about five.we had met before but that was my first memory.
One Christmas at staff quarters in uniben.
The next time she was old enough to greet and we called her ‘uncle laide’ for a number of years.
She had a stylish way of greeting my dad which we found Intriguing.
The years went by and we would play together when we went on holidays and we were taken to visit.

When I started university izzy and I lived together for three years. Then we became more than cousins.
We became friends and then sisters.

Izzy loved to share.. and to give.
She was always happy and outgoing.
There was never a dull moment with her..
I remember when we were robbed in bdpa.
She was so bold. She told the robbers we had one silver piece of jewellery and ‘I share it with my sister’ and said to me we cant give them all our things.
So we gave it to them along with some money, then crouched under the bed until help came.
I remember her little blue golf which she insisted we must take turns driving to ugbor and back from school to pack all my aunt’s eggs.
In the three years we lived together at school , I got to know a sister who was actually a cousin that would do anything for a loved one.
We would crawl under the gate, jump the fence and go visiting our friends next door only to be walked back through the gate to the surprise of our big cousin who housed us and  threatened to report us ..
we kept our reading table by the fence and used it to transport ourselves next door to play.

We were still children even if we were university students.
Izzy would do school run for me lol.
Wait for me to finish lectures so we could go to toseton together or go disturb her dad at work.
We were like twins.
I remember lola her friend and tracy her cousin from her dads side.
It was always a full house when we moved to quarters. We would struggle when I wanted to play’ the beatles ‘all day and bore everyone to pieces.
My sister was friendly and friendly and friendly.
Long after school ended and work began, we still chatted about how we were going to play and go out when next we saw each other.
I never had to take clothes to ugbor for the weekend. If I didnt wear izzys clothes she wouldn’t be happy.
‘You are my sister, wear this dress nau’
The pink little tops aunty deedee bought we had together. The black shiny camisole too. I wore it today. I kept it through all these years. Somehow it never got thrown out and it reminds me all the time of those days.
Always looking for something that would fit me.
My pink belt we took turns wearing.
who knew who had what. We just wore them all.

Even when we went to asaba for our cousins wedding during our nysc year,I wore her dress and her necklace and we took blurry selfies at the back of the car.

If you ever needed someone to defend you, she was that person.
I will always remember your voice saying bodly ‘my sister, my sister’ to everyone and anyone who cared to know we were sisters.

I will miss you izzy.
It still feels so unreal.
What is this life?
What is it all about ?

Rest peacefully Iziegboruwa Izzy Anyaru, sister, cousin, friend, daughter. sleep on.
It hurts so badly.
For we can never understand why these things happen but you are always in my heart.
To me, you are not dead.
Some people don’t die and you are one of them.
The tears keep falling…
Forever in my heart my sister.
Forever.