for you,i died

Someday you will find it
When I am gone
The notes I wrote
The paths I tread
The way I screamed
Asking for help.
The little beginnings
The final end
The little knife
The wrists or the drugs
The ones who ended it all
The peace that followed
Maybe flames of punishment
I have told you before
You think it is a joke
One day I will go.
Swift as the wind
Faster than sound.
Maybe before you.
You will wEep over my grave
You made me
And why?
I will have to ask before I go.
These are the ways
These are the thoughts
The clap before the dance
The drums that beat to the hip sway.
Time and time again
Like a child cowering in a corner
An adult trapped in their soul.
The voices that teleport
The actions that take me back.
The memories.
Crawling after you
My innocence
My sin unknown
I was not the reason
Why did you do it.
Why I suffer
The pain and the cross you bear
Glistening drops that fall
A perfect life should it be
Looking in from out
A model,an example
Now the train has chugged to a stop
The shadows have come out to play
It shall all be laid bare.
The deaths I died with me in your arms.