for love or not.

I’ve always thought I would marry for love.
I would meet someone who blew my mind and made me see stars and butterflies flutter in my tummy.
I wanted the ultimate fairy tale.
Blissfully looking into his eyes and seeing my future
Knowing that I was comforted and feted by the warmth of his love.
That I would feel same.
That ‘dream’ as I now like to call it is fading
Fading fast.
Reality sets in…is setting in and is almost here.
I have loved,fallen,gotten up and dusted my skirts.
Now I think I know why so many people view marriage as a contractual arrangement of some sort.

It seems finding and loving that ideal person
Who also wants to love you is a so far fetched idea.
I have always been a pessimist so its no big surprise if I come up saying this today.
For some of us,the realities of life are more real than how other people perceive them to be

In the end,after waiting and waiting
Waiting to find and love
Waiting to justify why
Waiting to see how it works out
Waiting for him to decide.
Waiting endlessly
You turn around and fall into the arms of the one you rejected
That’s if he’s still there after all this time
You realise the prince has either forgotten there was a princess to be rescued or he is not interested.
Therefore you fall for the count.
Swooning into his arms hoping no one can smell your pretence..
Determination in your heart to make ‘it’ work
Thankful you have found a home to call yours
Children to bring up.
In feting him and caring for him..
You fall in love.
At the end..not the beginning
Maybe its all a contract.
Maybe its not about love anymore
Maybe that’s how we female folks end up.
In loveless marriages where we need to struggle to keep romance alive.
Sham and drudgery
That’s all I can say.

There are females in this situation
Those who have just entered it
Those who are currently deciding that’s the way to go.
Those who are in the thick of it and bearing their marriage cross at best will.
I have no advice.
I wonder how I will turn out myself .