life, marriage, relationship woes

she married another?

guys cry too

guys cry too

She married another because you let her.
Why don’t we end this discuss here and now?
We won’t because you do not think it to be so.

.she is with you for different reasons
maybe she thinks you are the shinning star in a dark sky
Maybe she thinks you make the world go round
Maybe you chased her for months
Then you finally caught her
It could have just been a friendship that metamorphed into a relationship
ALL the same, at some point you had her attention
You were all she ever thought about sometime in history
She dreamt of having your kids,
She dreamt of welcoming you home after you had laboured to keep her fed and happy.
She built castles and maybe you did too.
A woman will not jump up and off and go marry some guy unless you push her to do it.
Women are naturally faithful creatures
They hang on long after you pushed them out the door
They beg…yes you chics have begged some guy before
They even make promises they can’t keep just to have you stay
For a woman to move on from that state of loving you and into another mans arms…
I don’t think I should sympathise with you.
You probably have option 2stashed away somewhere
And like a typical woman she would have been waiting for you to finally become available
You have been dating her for 5years,why won’t she leave you when its obvious you have no plans to make an honest woman out of her?
Do you want her eggs to finish before you finally take her to the altar?
You want her to ovulate all the kids away?

However you came about that relationship
you think a woman doesn’t know when you don’t have any serious plans for her?
Or when you are just using her as a title bearer?
Cook cum laundry mistress
..bed warmer and other things nice.
Then again,you like her but you don’t love her.
Two years into your arrangement of a relationship you haven’t parted your lips to appreciate her for whom she is
You haven’t even thought of loving her..maybe she doesn’t fit into the picture you have in your head of “your wife”but you are keeping her all the same just so you can be seen to be having a relationship
Lots of women put up with substandard treatment and mediocrity
The day comes when someone who sees gold in what you have termed a pile of rubble starts mining.
Then she leaves you..
Very few ladies will keep dating someone they don’t want after they have met a better person and by the time she’s leaving you it won’t take too long for you to hear she got married..
That’s when folks come up saying stuff like She was two timing you.
Most times she doesn’t two time..
You simply are not absorbed enough in her to notice when you have stopped
Being her man.
There could be hazy periods in transition where she’s at your house and taking calls from the new guy.
.who is ever caring,ever consistent..
While you are ever taking ..never giving
You will lament to her about all your problems and she will soak them in but you won’t ask her if she is fine.
The guy she marries will listen to her
He will solve her own problems
He will care..
He will love her and he will show it.
People fall in love with human beings that care about them.
You were never going to marry her so stop pretending that you were.
Sometimes it hurts that you see someone turn the dead brown shirt you threw in the bin into something plain white and beautiful with just enough care.
You don’t treat a woman right and then you complain when she leaves
Its easy to get into a rut and ignore the role you played
You will never want to admit to yourself that she ever had needs
You never took care of her…did you ever give her money to do her hair?
Did you ever load her phone?
Did you ever call her up just to say hello dear..hope you’re having a nice day.
No!!!so what is your complaint?

How many times did you consistently go hang out with your friends all dressed up..and leave her behind?
When did you ever take her to a nice restaurant on a dating date?
Watching a movie on your couch eating the fried rice she slaved three hours in your kitchen for doesn’t count
Stop being way besides yourself about someone you didn’t really want to be with in the first place.
Start asking yourself the right questions now

Do you really want to be in a relationship now?
Do you have the time and effort to make one work?
Are you ready to settle down?
This is because I personally do not think you should be in a relationship with no apparent conclusion in sight.
You shouldn’t put a woman into an arrangement that has no feasible end.
If you are not planning to marry her,please kindly leave her alone..
When you don’t and she is ripe she will fall from the tree regardless of who lies to catch her.
Won’t matter then if you are the temporary keeper or not
A woman can stay with you when you have no money but harbour good intentions for her.
She will stick by a man whom she believes to love her and be optimistic that her love will make the money come.
After two years of dating,her feet go restless and two years is a relationship marker..
You haven’t mouthed a word that suggests you’re in with her for the long haul.
Her heart will drop and she will slowly realise that you may not be the way forward afterall

This is the society we live cannot take someones 25year old daughter and tell her she is still young then start playing games with her.
At 25,the pressure has started mounting..
if you are with her at that age and above without any significant plans,
you had best have plans or leave her to go her way.
There is no use to keeping a woman longer if you have no plans to settle her life..

Then again when it comes to crossroads,you don’t give people open if you want to stay,stay
If you don’t,go.
You’re already saying that your life can carry on perfectly without them..
And no woman would ever want to be in a place where she is not truly wanted..
Statements or actions that portray such statements could result in a woman leaving you for an empty bed and empty hands and somehow the sharp wiser hawks preying around usually choose that time to swamp their prey..
So if you broke up like that and she’s married three months later,its still your doing.
Don’t even say she never loved you or it wouldn’t have turned out that way..
She loved you but you didn’t need her
So she walked away with her pain and found a doctor.

Sometimes it may not be all of this..
You may just have fallen into the hands of one of those chics who does it as good as the guys can.
Even then,I am still a strong believer in the wrongs love can make right
When dealing with girls who are serial daters and gold diggers..
I think its best to be as honest as you can and give it your best shot..if you really care about her soft words and kind answers have been known to turn away wrath and melt the stoniest of hearts
Deep down inside every woman is a longing to be cared for and wanted..
If you truly love this kind of woman,it won’t be business as usual..

Guys do get really heartbroken
But more than half the time
They know where they went wrong and what they did..
The truth is that the society and upbringing has conditioned men to hide their emotions and it will keep being a nagging bone..
It will keep causing problems for any man who hasn’t learnt how to truly balance out his emotions.

This will be one time to truly let it out
If you really feel hurt its best to let it out
If manly ego,won’t permit crying on a friends shoulder,then see a shrink..(ask me)
This is most certainly when most guys attempt that rebound thing and get the wrong girl pregnant
Kindly be sober of alcohol,fast things and wrong females at this time
Drinking doesn’t drown sorrows
Football does though..
Hang out with friends
Have some nice company
I always suggest talking things over with someone really close
Someone who knew about the relationship and knows both parties involved
Get their opinion because sometimes things look different from another’s eyes.

One thing that you must know is that although your ego may take a huge hit from a woman leaving you especially when its much apparent to the world is that you are still the same man you have always been and nothing should dent your self confidence
Think of the substandard parts of your character and attitude and work on them
Remember being an emotional person and showing emotions doesn’t mean you’re weak..
Learn to be honest about them too..
Don’t say things you don’t mean just to get a girl to have sex
Don’t be afraid to show it if you truly love her too.
That counts..
Next time will be a charm if you’re ready for it and if you want it to be..
Just don’t take any baggage to the next woman and weigh her down with tales of how you were dumped or she may just get tired and leave as well..
Get over it before moving into another womans arms I beg!!!
Love is still out there give it another try.


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